i have been in the hospital. i fell in a freak accident in the english department (i was talking to someone in the graduate lounge and was leaning against the back of an armchair, tried to hoist myself up onto its back, but it toppled and i fell off) but thought nothing of it. stood up, wasnt concussed, hey diddle diddle, just a little bruised in dignity - i was even able to walk home perfectly normally. but soon after i got home the lower back pain started, and escalated, and eventually i could barely move to dress or undress. i lay down for a while with panadols and the pain seemed to lessen somewhat and a few hours later a friend came over for tea and when i tried to get up to serve the tea i was hit by an excruciating wave of pain. i kept trying to get to my feet, but could not, and my friend insisted that we should stop mucking about and go to the doctor's immediately. she tried to help lift me off the ground and onto my feet, but that exertion was too much and i felt intense pain and then i blacked out. i didn't fall though, because she was able to catch me, and help me lie down on the ground and prop lots of cushions and pillows under me. she and my roommate then called 911 and soon paramedics came and i was taken to the emergency room. where i stayed for nearly seven hours, every minute an ordeal - people did come and attend to me from time to time and said hang in there and other encouraging things now and then but for most of those 6 hours i was lying immobile in a stretcher in a corridor and in pain and wondering when someone would do something and how long it was till i could have my xray and trying unsuccessfully to reach friends on the phone. even von's phone had been turned off, and on my fourth try i settled for leaving him a message asking him to email the usual people and to get in touch with my parents. (it was too early to call singapore at that point, so i tried to call australia naturally, but i made a mistake and left out a digit in minyin's number and couldn't get through, and i couldn't remember anyone else's numbers.) finally the resident came and examined my back and there didn't appear to be broken bones or slipped discs, and i wasn't concussed, so it was put down to muscle spasms. given three kinds of pills to relieve the pain and relax the muscles involved - none of which helped - everytime we thought i was ready to go home and they tried to help me sit up the pain was so intense i burst into tears immediately. finally a very decisive nurse came and railed about ineffiency and bad patient care and how i had been left there since six and all i'd been given were some pills so he got me into a room and a hospital gown and i had blood taken and was put on a drip and given morphine and that gave me a great deal of relief. by that time, esme and her sister anne (who was a nurse at the same hospital) had driven over to see me. they brought me reinforcements in children's books and dinner from pho pasteur and stayed with me for four hours and when i was able to move helped me practise walking. finally (this was well past midnight) i was discharged and they drove me back to their apartment where i stayed with them and was very well taken care of and esme's very handsome and friendly cat jumped on my bed to check me out! esme drove me home at three this afternoon after packing me lots of food (she made her own chicken noodle soup from scratch! rolled dough and everything!!) to get through the next few days and i'm resting at home now, with lots of pain killers and finding it hard to move about but thankful to be alive and conscious and profoundly grateful for friends.