i'm spending this week at home - am simply not up to walking to barker carrying riverside miltons and norton anthologies. rikita came to see me yesterday and brought me food - muesli bars and apples and grapes and biscuits and cup soups and noodles so that i don't have to leave my room. some of the time i feel fair but most of the time i feel a deep exhaustion and i find myself sleeping long hours. it hurts when i cough, and i have frequent giddy and nauseous spells, the rest of the time i crave food i can't get. and if i have not written back to thank anyone who has sent me emails of kind sympathy it is not for want of gratitude i am merely very tired.