i have sunflowers and vanilla caramel tea and almond cinnamon thins and i have turned my schedule in to the registrar so i can stop obsessing about it at last and it's saturday morning the sunlight is pouring in and i have more work than i can manage already but after a bewildering and nerverwrecking week that was full of shut doors and hostility and social flops and hurtful encounters, and one worsened by self-doubt and homesickness and PMS, i am happy for in the two days not only did i meet the incomparably kind werner sollors but had also good meetings with dan donoghue, james simpson and finally elaine scarry (who has no chou4 jia4 zi3 that some people whom i won't mention by name do!) and in a place where you must learn to become inured to unfriendliness and detachment these unlooked-for kindnesses when they come can feel almost as miracles and are all the more touching.