*glum* the trouble is that there is never any major life crisis, like: i have cancer of the ear nerve, or, they're expelling me for taking library books to canada! or even any kind of minimal grad school angst like oh hell why am i here what is the meaning of literature!

it's just the small disappointments and uncertainties, and the small annoyances, like how i've just paid rent for the semester and am feeling particularly impoverished and not quite sure how to pay for everything else i need, like a printer and a lamp (i swear i'm going blind in here), and i ought to start thinking about buying the sort of clothes with which to survive my first new england winter. like how it's too cold to go out to eat today and i missed the food truck by five minutes, and so resorted to very bland frozen dinner which left me disgruntled and still hungry. and then i really should be reading for my monday presentation, but i'm panicking and looking for cheap tickets online so that i can go home over winter recess, if only for a week, not that i'm actually seeing anything cheap, and i know if i don't find one quickly they'll only get more and more expensive. i'd have to be back for reading period though, so another way is to go home in january after the exam period, but that might come with its own difficulties - such as getting back before the start of term for registration and such like, and being able to go into the first day of classes with jetlag...i'm not homesick exactly, but it would be a great deal more fortifying if i could go home. i shall go get my laundry from downstairs.