most days there is a uncontrollably high me who is energetic and gets excited about language policy and thinks furious rushing thoughts and blogs short maniac entries, and then there is the alternate, totally weepy and incapable and insecure me that can't begin to put two sentences together without deleting the whole document. was talking to von on saturday about the critical mass you need before you can write, and how there never is that on a week to week basis, and feeling helpless and mute in front of a computer and not being able to think, alternating with the maniac blogger who is trying to pour everything out at once. i need life counsel and grad school counsel and time and peace to get out of the mess.