von says my trouble is that i care too damn bloody much about things. i do. i care too much about people i love and have loved, years and years after the fact. i care too much about doing honest, different work and stand by the refusal to compromise that i am incapacitated and then have to feel wretched for it. and of course like every other grad student i'm hopelessly neurotic. it's a wonder i got through a quarter of my life.