up. trying to work. i fear that is going to be the way every entry from now on will start, in the way "and so to bed" concluded pepys' diary. despite having a reasonable amount of dinner i've been getting very hungry at about 2 in the morning, but am unable to cook (because that would wake my roommate) and have to keep staring at the clock for morning to come. it is 3 in the morning now. i'm tired, but it's not nearly the right time to sleep. last year i also came back the day school reopened its wide jaws for its prey - jetlag alone would have been bad but one does feel reluctant settling into work immediately - last year at least i went home and ate and slept well and went to parties. i have had no rest on this break- i did not eat all the usual things. except for one lor mee i had with julian at spottiswoode and some dau huey and mijiangkueh my dad got me on the last morning, i've not been to a hawker centre or kopitiam at all. i bought nothing, saw nothing, went nowhere, met with no friends except those who put themselves my way by meeting me at the hospital or coming to the house. there were exhibitions i wanted to go to - the ancient chinese religious and royal textile exhibition at the acm, and gao xing jian's ink drawings at the sam, dresses i wanted altered. i didn't even get to spend time with my parents. i need a leave of absence.