from a liar's autobiography by graham chapman:

"i bought a gown, several striped ties, and walked around in a tweed suit with a pipe and tried to look clever. the pipe was very useful because it meant that if anyone said anything i didn't understand i could puff on it and seem incredibly deep in thought. the tweed suit didn't fool anybody but the pipe worked a treat. in tutorials i was asked fewer questions."

good idea that, except i've already discovered how good i am at making myself invisible in class which was a better idea than the severe dark rectangular glasses i got last year for the same reason chapman got the suit and pipe. i've done something dreadful to the glasses by sitting on them last night. actually from the mangled look of them i must have done something considerably more than sit on them. they look irreparable and anyway my spectacles fix-it man is in swaziland looking at tsetse flies and doing unspeakable things to his liver and anyway the last time he twisted them back into shape for me he informed me that if he had to do it one more time i'd be looking at pieces of wire and don't come crying to him so that's not very encouraging is it? no problems when it comes to seeing i keep two other pairs of glasses in school but it was such a shortlived use of a good idea. bah.