Professor Vandersee is dead. I can't believe it. He was my Echols advisor and from the day I arrived at UVA he's always been there to give me counsel. He was the very first real life Professor I'd ever met. When I was a first year I used to go and have homesick bouts of crying in his office. He always gave me NY Times clippings about Singapore whenever he saw them and I went in to talk to him all the time - he was the one person you could always drop in on suddenly and know he'd receive you cheerfully and not chuck you out for ages. I didn't go and say goodbye to him as I usually do when I left for winterbreak this year because I had been so harassed about the thesis installment. And I had felt bad about it then but I thought oh well he'll always be here I'll see him in the Spring. Now I can't even say that when I last said goodbye I didn't think it was going to be that kind of goodbye. Which would have been something but I didn't even go to see him. In fact, I hadn't even seen him since the beginning of November - I can't think what I was so preoccupied with that I hadn't gone to see him for so long - it wasn't as if I was engrossed with work - maybe I just didn't want him to ask about the GREs because I was embarassed about it - in seven semesters I have never forgotten to go in to say good bye and to give him a hug before I leave but the one time I hadn't gone was the last time I could have. And when I was in transit in Tokyo yesterday I bought him a box of sticky chestnut ricecakes and when I woke up this morning I thought I'll trot over to Bryan Hall later and say hello to him and bring back the book he lent me. He never taught me and I never worshipped him the way I do Professor Nohrnberg but he was sunny and kind and sprightly and soothing and teasing and warm and good-tempered and I loved him. He wasn't one of those people who cared about publishing or being well-known in the profession - he cared more about undergraduates, and probably more than he cared for grad students. The English department says they're working with his sister to arrange a memorial service, but they don't know when and where yet. And I don't even want to go into the first floor of Bryan Hall now whoever gets his office I won't go near it again.