i feel rather hopeless and discouraged. this is not really working out, is it? if we could only have proper breaks instead of reading period. it doesn't feel as though i've been home at all in all this time. last night i woke up in the middle of the night and was deathly homesick. i must go home for chinese new year. even if it's just for five days. i really can't *stand* not going home anymore.