my favourite uncle, favourite by far, i mean no one has even got a patch on him - has got colon cancer, my parents told me. i don't know what to say. they said he is very sick, he had an operation of some kind but is not better, having chemo and quite depressed. i just can't wait to go home and spend lots of time with him. he's 60ish, and he taught me to play tennis and bought me my first tennis shoes and how to make designs with woodburning. he is a marvel at making things - when i was small he made me acrylic toys and wooden penholders and an acrylic cover for the toaster. he can fix anything - drill an extra notch in a new belt strap or reattach a heel to your new shoes (i was at some concert with addy, and during the intermission, i fell down and the heel wrenched off - most mortifying) once i ruined my homec apron and he boiled it in some chemical for me and it was right as rain again. i always tell ppl i can come home by myself from the airport, but everytime i walk into the baggage claim area he's there on the other side of the glass waiting to pick me up when i come home. i've two older cousins, quite a bit older, and girls, so that when i was growing up that made him and my aunt wonderful people to talk to - advice about boys and pop stars and clothes and friends and girl things - and if i need to enlist someone on my side to talk the parents into letting me do something, they're the ones to ask. and even now i can stash my new shoes or dress at their place before going home if i didn't want my parents to comment on me buying too many things. when i was little he swung me around and took me to the park where there were swings which i still love now and the standing joke between us is that i'll grow taller than him (sure, i've been trying for 22 years and not there yet) and i know i can do something when i'm home - tell him stories and silly jokes about school and travelling and be entertainingly useless.but i am here writing this crappy paper and nothing in this room is working. i've just broken a stapler and the lamp which had frequently been resuscitated with tape and such has given its last gasp and photos are peeling off my wall and i don't know where my neat stack of laundry quarters have got to.