dismantling? is that it? slowly, slowly, i stopped going to classes. skipped more and more frequently. got more and more behind. would i have done that anyway, if not for the thesis? probably not. i would have had, less excuse not to go, and more time to go. but it is entirely possible that the boredom would have got me, that this unwillingness to try anymore would have kicked in anyway. so that the thesis was both an escape, a way of channelling my energy and imagination and concentration into someplace where i was happy and excited and interested, and a way of ignoring the fact that i was dismantling everything else.