oh dear. i came in last night. boiled some water in the kettle in the kitchen (which belongs to my roommate) and today when i saw her in the kitchen she told me it was spoilt. i feel she thinks i spoilt it - and it's suspicious isn't it - i've been gone two weeks and everything's been hoity-toity, and the day after i'm back it no longer works, and i'm the last person to use it. i'd apologise like a flash and buy a new one if i knew it was something i had done - but there's the sticking point - i can't think what i did do that could have spoilt it. i used it once last night the same way i have the last seven months - it worked perfectly then. and machines do break down of their own accord. i feel slightly annoyed too - that i should be blamed automatically - but i quite see how she feels like this - because there's already been some friction between us over the kitchen last semester - she's extremely - in some respects almost anally - tidy - and while i'm much tidier than the average american grad student i am no angel in the home - i do try very hard, but i do see how she feels: i've been gone two weeks and i know it's been heaven for her not having me messing things up - i noticed she's taken the opportunity of me being out of the way to give the whole place a scrub - everything looks new and shiny - and being able to keep things that way - i know she must feel good with me gone - i do too when she leaves for christmas and in the summer - i find myself reverting to my normal patterns of sleep - long naps in the afternoon, and working in the kitchen with the radio on till five in the morning. we just are different people, with very different living styles, and we weren't friends particularly before i moved in, so it is hard - always civil, but with a slight edge of tension - but the apartment is too nice for either of us to give up - and who's to say a better roommate can be found? and we're hardly in each other's way - it's like two studio apartments joint by a common entryway and a kitchen - so that there's the maximum amount of privacy and personal space. i mean to try harder to get along - but this isn't a good start. it is so depressing.