today was fun! i met von for lunch at grendel's den, where i had the bstilla, and drank a mug of hot cider which made me think of yeenteck and carter's mountain and drinking cider in my uva room. then took the bus to symphony hall, although i got off one stop too early, and an impatient von hollered at me across the street. he had biked there from grendel's and beat me a full ten minutes - i had to wait a long time for the bus - and had pounced on esme to boot, even though he had never met her before. i had arranged to meet esme for the bso open house and instrument petting zoo, which turned out to be a massive disappointment. i couldn't but kick myself for not going to the cornfield maze instead, which was the alternative plan esme had suggested. of course the symphony hall is always there and they play every week. whereas i'll never get to do something as unusual as going to to a cornfield maze again! it's seasonal, and besides which sterling, ma, is over an hour's drive away, and i can't even drive! and so it does seem foolish not to go, when i have a new friend to have a new adventure with, and i thought von would be keen on going to it too. (he was, but he hadn't got back to me till this morning, by which time the cornfield party had departed.) but i did want to go into boston badly, as if if i could just do that, cross the river, i would have taken myself past a mental barrier, and would be able, in future, to go by myself. going to sterling would have been fun, but it would have been a one-time venture, something so removed from the ordinary sphere of my life it couldn't count as an expansion of its borders. and that need to make ordinary progress was too strong today.

and it's true. now i'll always be able to go to the symphony - will know how to get there - it's incredibly simple - the mass ave bus takes me from the holyoke gate to the doorsteps of symphony hall, and back the same way, and the fare is a dollar. now i shall always be able to go to the symphony - in fact, i'll go this thursday - andre previn conducting, and they're playing le tombeau de couperin, which is something i write papers to, hee. and the day turned out fine after all even if the open house was completely lousy. von led us across the road to the christian science centre, a most peculiar building (which was a little like the taj mahal, with the large reflecting pool before it.) the pool was bordered by lavender plants, and i stuck my nose into what was lavender only to think, huh, this smells weird, and then to hear von's voice: "that isn't lavender. this is." he was pointing to the tiny shrubs beside the large purple plants i had gone for. "butbut... i thought lavender was huge! in all the picture of provence..." and was shushed immediately. "the colder the climate the smaller the lavender," he says. and then von goes to buy himself a fleece and esme and i went on to spend the day in boston - and i have seen a great deal in boston today, just walking and looking, that i am filled with new pleasure in the city and ready to forgive it some of its previous unpleasantness.

and now i can say that i have been in a trader joe's.

i've had tea in the tealuxe on newbury street and tried my first boston creme pie (heh. baked beans next!)

i have gone to the public gardens where there was no swan boat this time of year, but there were swans and the ritz was across the street, which was where louis the swan stayed and ordered 12 watercress sandwiches, 1 with mayonnaise, 11 without.

i have been to chinatown, where i can go again to get groceries. i bought a bowl and two glazed dishes so i no longer have to serve cookies to friends on paper plates.

and then we went into anthropologie and i was lost. how not to be, with a skirt selection like this? i tried on hats and scarves and blouses and coats, but of course i knew the pricetags were plainly unaffordable. in the end, i got myself two nighties that were on sale: one is a short, mint-coloured nylon slip with the tiniest pink flower detail at the neckline, and it made me feel happy the moment i tried it on because it was girlish and intimate and the colour of slumber parties and girlfriends. the other was a longer black tencil slip which looked dowdy on the rack, but put on, had a drop waist and a nicely draping skirt. it also had an asymmetrical panel inset and a small rose at the waist. i'm not so hot on the rose but i think i will unpick it and replace it with a soft floral pin or a ribbon of my own. it is v sensible and flowy and is perfect for everyday, although even as i brough them to the counter questions as these arose in my head:

pondering priorities: should i buy a nightie when i have not got a printer or a coat?

survival alert: should i buy a nightie when i have money for neither food nor rent?

the existential: why am i buying nighties when graduate students as a species can no more sleep than macbeth?

concerning etiquette: can one advertise the fact that one sleeps when living amongst those who do not?

then i quelled them and paid and came home and put on the green and had ochazuke in my new pink bowl with plum blossoms and was happy.