today i am going to a reception for new international students and hosting a small group for dinner. i think i'm quite good at being a hostess, not exuberant and funny and organised and all-prepared like my ma, of course, or my grandma (who could throw twelve course chinese dinners at home for 30 without blinking, and always let my ma bring home hordes of friends to meals,) but i am good at fussing over other people, i think, and making sure they've got everything, even if i'm the kind who can't make conversation. i should team up with an entertaining sort and do parties. the other fellow would do all the talking and laughing and life-of-the-partying, and i'll pretend i don't speak english so no one will bother me and try to make me talk, while i can get on with the fussing and cushion pumping.