me (to su-lin): well if you don't tell us what you want for your birthday we'll just have to send you a stripper.

su-lin: i think you'll find strippers are expensive.

me: in that case we'll just have to pay choonping to do it.

julian: AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! MY EYES!!!!!!!!!

von: my eyes also, etc.

me: mea culpa. perhaps you'd like to do it instead?

yen: what about a singing telegram? a singing, stripping telegram?

me: this is like nobby dressed up as a woman in jingo!*

julian: indeed!

me: let's send her a birthday threat instead of a birthday gift. pay up or choonping would take off his clothes.

* "And finally," said the Patrician, "the beautiful Beti will do an exotic dance."
The crowd fell silent.
Then someone at the back said, "How much do we have to pay for her not to?"