so i did dress and went out. i got as far as mass ave. it wasn't that i was cold. i haven't felt cold since i got my gigantic grey coat that makes me look all puffed up and clumsy like an astronaut. it wasn't even the large expanse of unshovelled snow, which was hard enough to trudge through. it was mostly the wind violently flinging wet snow in my face. after i fell down the second time i decided it was not worth the trouble and far too much like that scene in doctor zhivago and turned back instead. and then 100 metres from home the rubber sole on my right shoe broke off. i came upstairs wet and deflated and went into the kitchen brazenly (it was full of japanese people, not cantonese people, as i had thought) and dug under a pile of dishes to find my microwave-safe container. i must have looked somewhat put out, because one of the men in the kitchen said, sorry for being in your kitchen. he was kind of cute too, in that dongyang pop-star way (you know, the wavy mid-length hair dyed a very light brown and the goatee and earring, actually probably he didn't have any of those things except the hair, but i had a fleeting impression of j-pop idols and so that's what i'm saying he has) but i was cross and only said no problem and left again to go into the other fourth floor kitchen, which was filled with chinese people all wanting the kettle at the same time. so then i go downstairs to use the third floor kitchen, convinced it would be full of bulgarians, but it was empty, so i cooked rice and boiled water in peace and then decided i didn't really have any appetite anymore. so came back up and felt light-headed and then some nutter started vaccuming and was sorely tempted to go out and tell them to go away and take the infernal engine of destruction with them but restrained self and only complained to von online. then cindy came on and offered to teach me to say "please be quiet" in japanese only somehow we ended up talking about how to say "safe sex" in chinese. don't ask me how we got from one to the other.

me: but you know, i don't think i have the vocabulary in chinese to seriously seduce anyone.
cindy: well in china you wouldn't have to know how to seduce a guy. you just need to know how to smile demurely while your matchmade hubby lusts after your boobs.
me: what if you're flat?
cindy: well, then let's hope you have a big ass.

...a while later...

me: they taught us all the wrong things in higher chinese
cindy: i know. who wants argumentative chinese wives, tsk, with our yi lun wen skills.
me: like: lao gong, wo fan dui de yuan yi ru xia: shou xian....?
me: or, wo jue de wo zai wai mian yang xiao bai lian shi li duo yu bi.
cindy: yeah man!