but i must pull myself together. i've too much to do that i've completely neglected this past week and i am already in no end of trouble for it i must pull myself together for a few days and get it all sorted out.

but even as i say that i am anxious to spend time with people. there’s always work. i know i am in trouble if I don't get this or that done, or spend more time studying, but the worst that can happen is that you fail out of school. mind you that would be terrible, but you wouldn’t be ruined. you still have a b.a. and you could get a job. i don't say anythign about it being nice. it would be rotten. but you wouldn’t be without a roof over your head or starve and it won’t be through robbing stealing or begging. one could still live a good life, be close to family and friends, enjoy singapore, teach. but a person who dies you will never spend time with again. and never again do i want to be caught out having paid less attention to someone or given them less of my time on account of anything as stupid as my own arrogance to think my work could make any difference. a paper won't change the world what do we think we are anyway. don't finish your readings for class, turn in a late paper, you'll suffer for it but not as much as regretting time not spent with people when it is too late.