a few weeks ago, in one of my darker moments, i asked my dgs this: does the department think that i am a liability because i'm not emotionally stable and unable to perform? my dgs shook his head and gave what i still think is a startling answer: in short, it is part of the cost of an english department like harvard's. we want to take in the most individualistic minds, but individualistc minds often come with baggage, and we accept the emotional liabilities as part of them. this is a startling answer because we always wonder, well they wasted a spot on us, didn't they? should have given it to someone else, shouldn't they? bet they think they made a bad investment right? but now we're being told that the department values the mind enough to accept the problems along with them. this may be a very different sort of year ahead. one of more gratitude, and willingness to trust the department, and less of resentment and chagrin.