received a bouquet of lilies today from a well-wisher today, a former student of my father's and a family friend. i hadn't in the least expected it, and in fact, because i was mired in packing had felt impatient with him when he had said he was coming over, so that i blushed for my earlier ungraciousness receiving the flowers. and addy came over in the afternoon and brought me a very pretty handpainted shirt from artiris. and i've already spoken of the garnet necklace from my relations on monday. all of this is touching to me, and certainly very surprising, for i rather thought that people wouldn't much mind me leaving this time. it is neither as momentous an occasion as leaving for the first time five years ago, nor can i say that i am unfamiliar with living in the us. (although i am, for that reason, far more frightened than when i left for the first time. considering how badly i started my first year then, i can't begin to imagine how much more badly it could be now. for now i have two places to be homesick for, singapore and charlottesville.) and i certainly am older and at any rate, have accumulated experience in hauling suitcases up eight flights of stairs, and know equally much about missing flights as catching them. so that i feel i can't in truth expect anyone to be making much of me, and when they do, it is as if they have seen the fear in me and acknowledged it reasonable, and for that i am always touched and grateful.