[topic: my pet]

Derek Nimmo: My pet is a beautiful red retriever dog that I’ve had since it was six months old. Had it trained by somebody in a part of Northamptonshire known as Owney. It is a great chum to me, it is a personal friend with an ability...

BUZZ

Paul Merton: I think you should extend your social life if this red retriever is a personal friend! I once, I used to correspond with a tortoise but I don’t...

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Derek Nimmo: His name is Rufus, named after the King of that particular appendage, and the...

BUZZ

Nicholas Parsons: Peter Jones has challenged.

Peter Jones: The dog was named after a King’s appendage?

Paul Merton: Is that the reason you became friends?

Nicholas P: Oh dear! Now I have to judge on that and decide whether it’s deviation or not!

Peter Jones: Definitely deviation on somebody’s part!

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Derek Nimmo: I’m fed up with this bloody dog! It doesn’t exist anyway! I hate dogs!

Paul Merton: So much for friendship! You’re here on Radio Four, this poor dog’s at home waiting for you, this personal friend, probably whipped up a custard or something!

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Derek Nimmo: My wife calls me my pet. I...

BUZZ

Peter Jones: Did your wife have you trained by this man in Northampton?