Nohrnberg Quotes:

On Time and Teaching

Once in a while Mrs Nohrnberg reminds me that I have to teach.

The department is like my wife, always reminding me of the things I have to do. Apparently they can fire you if you don't give out a syllabus.

(on why there were only four people in class when he came in)

Am I on time? Is that the problem?

(on whether we were reading milton's poem "on time" that day)

"On Time?" I'm never on time.

(after two girls rushed in half an hour late:)

I must be on time today.

Papers

(giving back shakespeare papers:)

If you think your mark is wrong, keep it to yourself.

(on doing well on his exams)

Mind you, if you can say something significant that would be a great help.

(on why he has so many comments on papers)

If I didn't have to grade them I wouldn't put any comments - because then I wouldn't have to justify myself.

Autobiographical

I'm always worried that on my tombstone it'll say: "He never read War and Peace."

I read in Boethius that the soul has wings. That's why I'm always winging it.

In the [University] junior faculty's dramatisation of the Faerie Queene, I was Despair. Talk about type casting.

In the undergraduate drama production at Kenyon College '59 I was of course Cinna the Poet. The tackle on the football team, one Henry Varnum Poor, tossed me over his refrigerator-sized shoulder to certain death.

(on the role of memory within families)

I'm a stingy bastard because my father lived through the depression

(on his compulsion to pick things up)

A student of mine once put a paper clip on the floor to see how long it'll take before I grabbed it.

Once I picked up a quarter, and a student asked me, Mr Nohrnberg, don't they pay you anything?

From Shakespeare

Hamlet is what nowadays we call an A.B.D.

(on the roman concept of making sacrifices to one's genius:)

People still do that. "Don't get married. Write a book."

From Milton

(on the serpents in paradise lost eating dust:)

It's a kind of demonic Yom Kippur

From Bible

Israel only had one thing going for it, and that was Yahweh.

(on the flood)

If I went on the ark, I'd be putting books on it.

(after someone suggested that the reason no books were on the ark was that god didn't want corrupt culture to be carried over to the new world)

Well, I'm all for censorship.

(on the rape of dinah)

"The soul of my son longs for your daughter." Soul? He means he was listening to something lower than the solar plexus"

(on wells in the bible:)

Wells are where you go to pick up girls

(on reading hebrew)

It all reads like an ad. You save money by saving letters

(on noah getting drunk)

The point of the story seems to about be mixing alcohol and nakedness, which I understand to be the point of joining a fraternity

on prophets

Nowadays we call them Economists.

(on the punishment meted out after the fall)

Man falls into labour. Woman falls into labour.

(on moses and the identity of god)

When God says "tell him the God of Abraham sent him"... it's important that Moses knows who the hell that is.

(on sarah's barreness)

"So Sarah laughed to herself saying, afer I have grown old, and my husband is old, shall I have pleasure? Well, pleasure, now that's different consideration.

"Your word is my command", meaning, "make me an offer i can't refuse"

Miscellaeneous

Dante, who complained about women showing their breasts, would not have been happy abt Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

A man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what is a metaphor?

I've just read that most 80 year old males who are left-handed are also dead. I'd better get busy.

Tell Bob [Reeder] that I give advice on how to live, but only once a year.

(on saints days in spain)

My knowledge on the subject is extremely shallow, and you have now plumbed it.