trying to sneak into the dining hall without anyone seeing me so i can have a quick dinner and do some reading i walk smack into a table full of perkins folk and submit to the inevitable. there were also two scientists from another dorm at the table.

biology: so what do you do?
philosopher: philosophy.
biology: and what do you do?
english lit 1: english lit.
romance lang: *intervening* oh, we're all humanities people. how many finals do *you* have.

english 2: [on unwritten papers] they show up in my dreams, with fangs.

english 3: [on a sign that says "take a break"] well yes, after a few hours i say, oh, guess i'll take a break from the slacking now and write two sentences.

romance languages: we know philosophers can't write.
philosophy: yeah. *about some impossibly convoluted philosophical treatise he is reading* i mean, it's practically not even english.
biology: oh, when was it written? in the 17th century?
philosophy: no, last month.

romance languages: i wrote 30 pages last week. i only have another 50 pages to go.

english 3: i think i would like to just turn in a sheet of paper that read: "i prefer not to."

biology: want to have a game (i think they mean video) tonight?
philosophy: well, i made some good progress today, so yes.
chemistry: *shocked* you made some progress so you're gonna stop?
collective humanities: *shocked* wouldn't you?

philosopher: every word is painful!!

(and that seems like a good last word on the subject.)