*cheerfully* i am a pest.

now that going to nohrnberg has become too stressful because of thesis guilt i seek all my advice from bob reeder instead, who has become my surrogate mentor-confidant-patron-big-brother overnight. actually, no, bob has really been that for a long time. he used to joke that his advice wasn't as good as nohrnberg's, but it's more than once a year. (in-joke. nohrnberg once told me to "tell him i give advice on how to live, but only once a year." this was roughly the time when bob and i started referring to nohrnberg as "the oracle") but really, i think bob's advice is truly understanding and good, and he's been absolutely supportive and patient with me that i'm so so grateful for his friendship.

i was in the undergraduate english office this afternoon looking at people's undergraduate theses, and feeling alarmed and discouraged and cheated and stressed out and then i looked at the clock and saw it was nearly three and it came to me that bob has office hours in alderman at 3 on tuesdays so i was off to the library like a shot. bob always has cheery news. he told me his parents were in town last week, and they went to dinner at a restaurant downtown, *with* the nohrnbergs, *and* katherine maus (his other dissertation director) and her husband. what a party! that's like having three sets of parents to yourself. goodness! i wish i could have a thing like that one day and hopefully nohrnberg would be proud of me by that time, as everyone is proud of bob. i told bob that my parents weren't coming for graduation so we couldn't invite the nohrnbergs to dinner this time round - that means, too, i just remembered, that i better let christine know she can have all my spare tickets (she has about 6 people coming) bob said i should go for the graduation ceremony anyway. you might regret it if you don't, he warned. oh...i won't regret it, i assured him. or...well, maybe *you* can come watch me graduate! bob said yes indeed he will come watch me graduate, as long as he is in town that weekend. actually, that still doesn't make me want to do it, and i probably am still going to skip the hooha, but anyway, if i did it would be kinda nice to have bob around as a surrogate brother!

the thing about graduating is that well-meaning advice and requests for donations start pouring in. last night i got a call from one of the class trustees soliciting pledges. the funny thing is that i've never thought of giving because i assume that that's only for when you have thousands and thousands of dollars, but we just had a sales talk from james sofka the other night about how we should all go out and give for the sake of us news rankings and that the amount doesn't matter it's the percentages. then she asked if there was an organisation or department i'd like it to go to. i hadn't known you could designate a department! i've always assumed that gifts automatically go to the college or whatever school you're enrolled in. that was kinda cool. i suddenly remember, too, that dean sofka had told us that the college spends $3.80 per echols scholar per year, so they've invested less than $16 on me so far. it would be funny to give exactly $16 back, so they'll break even *grin* but anyway, that wasn't what i did.

spent some time reading the nus english department faculty profiles and thinking gosh so many of them are english educated, and most of those who were educated in america are linguists and not literary scholars, with the exception of two singaporeans, one who was at toronto and the other at harvard, the former teaches renaissance lit, the latter, 20th century. i wonder if they can be kacheowed in my year off to give me some guidance. charles vandersee one time told me to go to nus during the summer and to make an appointment with professors in my field just to chat and get my foot in the door if i wanted to be back there in 10 years time. i don't know about being back in 10 years but i definitely want to talk to people at home in the profession, if they don't find me too much of a pest.

but anyway, i am a pest.