but then central square is itself also a large part of the problem. inman square would have been a quirkly place to live, full of musicians, vintage shops, independent coffee houses. porter is familiar and friendly to me, relaxed too, and inexpensive, the sort of neighbourhood in which unruffled couples walk large shaggy dogs. but central square has always felt, and still does, to me, frenetic, exposed, dilapidated, slightly unsavoury, expensive and cold. certainly once i explore the neighbourhood more thoroughly i should feel less hostile; already i have found a book shop with a reasonable (though not delectable) children's section. but i don't feel i will ever really feel at home in central square, and indeed each day that i walk down the street i live on i wince a little inwardly. i don't know if it's just being atas, i'm sure there's a little of that too, but the beauty of a place is important, it really is. in all the places i've lived before that was one of the things i took stock of daily, and was grateful for, and joyful for. in charlottesville each day i walked to classes and register anew that the lawn, the pavilions, the columns, are beautiful, that the first view of mountains, at a certain turning, or a particular tree aglow with magnolias, stopped my heart. and that feeling is daily renewed. when i lived on campus i had an enormous room in a hall built in the 1890s, with wide arching corridors five could walk abrest in, each room with dark, arresting wooden mantelpieces, and armchairs, and long window seats over looking oxford street. in my second year i revelled in the splendoured flower gardens of west cambridge, i walked down chauncy street and took in the white porches, the brick and ivy old hotel apartments, or down garden street, through the radcliffe gardens, smiled at the gambolling children on cambridge common, felt happy. here on my own street what i register is the slight seediness, and the houses that are dilapidated, and that there is nothing pretty or genteel or even simply pleasant or friendly about it, until i step into the apartment and feel that i'm at home.