watched ruan lingyu last night and cried like nobody's business. it probably isn't the movie, which was fairly cerebral and kept one thinking and jotting notes and not at all soppy. on the other hand, it was probably good to get my weekend bawling over with now rather than later. i suppose it works on me the way nooteboom does. aloof enough, complex enough, never descending into melodrama, but intense all the same by acting on association and implication and external knowledge. and so i could watch it without feeling mauled, and yet it stirred the demons more effectively than the other kind would have, placed scorching touches on the deep fears. i think i shall stay away from movies about unhappy women, failed relationships, weariness, strength and premediated deaths for a while.