(to understand the exchange, you have to know that my pa, aunt and uncle are catholics, and my cousin, cousin-in-law and the two kids are methodists.)

my pa was over at 52, discussing the man we had in to fix up the new sitting toilet. (by the way, it seems they didn't tear down the whole thing, but built a seat over the old, which means that in fifty years time, when the house comes down to me, i can have it taken off and have the (by then) only traditional toilet in the country. (dad: are you sure anyone will know how to use it by then? i don't believe they will either. kids today can't do long division and can't strike matches. i found this out one year invigilating at a primary five science practical. what do you mean you can' t strike a match, i said, much put out. the kids said they've only ever used lighters. but i shouldn't talk, i can seldom get a lighter to work - if i had been in that roald dahl story i should have lost my fingers all right. and i can't use an abacus either.)

my dad: i gave him half the amount as a deposit.

uncle: what if he goes off with the money and doesn't come back to build the thing?

my dad: well, i thought i can trust him because he seems like a religious person. he told me he's a methodist.

aunt to cousin: did you hear what ah-ku said?

cousin: mm.

ariel: [walking by and catching the word "methodist"] sarah wants to be a catholic when she grows up.

- pause -

uncle: oh dear, i hope we're not going to have a religious war.