when you get to my age you will find it unwise to play games that involve prowling about the house, such as the jungle game, or being overenthusiastic bloodhounds on the trail of master criminals. in addition to the physical exertion, there's always a great deal of tidying up to be done afterwards. happily, i'm getting rather good at playing games that require no more effort of me than simply lying in bed. today the children were slaves to the high empress of the heng kingom and lands beyond. specifically they were junior salaried slaves, grade 1. (50cents a month, one milo a week included.) they started as junior slave grade 2 (25cents a month, same milo benefits, though for a while ariel was demoted to very junior slave indeed grade 5, for stepping on robert dudley. 50cents a year, milo forbidden except on the birthdays of bears of the imperial household.) when they had $50 they could buy their freedom. however, every morning the empress awaking gave out bonuses and rewards of varying amounts (whole dollars usually) or took things out of their salaries for wrongdoing or out of ill-humour and caprice. sometimes i rewarded the first person i saw when i woke up who was wearing a green tshirt, or doing the yoga tree pose on the bed, or who recited the pledge in mandarin, or said a complete sentence in teochew. other mornings i woke up and took away part of their wages for wearing blue shorts, giggling, hiding in the closet, not hiding in the closet, not speaking french, (though they had a good go making various kinds of foreign-sounding utterances and then asking hopefully if any one of those happened to be french.) and, when inattention on my part allowed them to get to $47 with yet 10 minutes to go before their mother was due to storm the dungeons and liberate them, i took swift action by taking away $5 for every A they had in their names (3 in sarah and 2 in ariel.) these whims usually came to the empress in her dreams, and, as she speaks in her sleep, the slaves found it sensible to crouch nearby quietly (quietly. rousing a sleeping empress could lead to a beheading.) and wait for revealing pronouncements like "when i wake up, i shall give $5 to anyone i see balancing on one leg." or "i think anyone who is holding a dictionary when i wake up should be given $2." and then rush to array themselves so that they might sooner earn their release from servitude. "the first person i see when i open my eyes" had them jostling for position on my bed, though "i'll give $10 to the second person who sings me a nursery rhyme." was rather inspired, and ensured that they both kept busy for a good 10mins trying to get the other to go first while i went back to sleep. this is all done with me lying in bed, and you can't say i'm not doing good for their mental sums.