i went to the first class meeting of marc shell and werner sollors' seminar yesterday. it is called multilingual literatures of the us, and it seems pretty exciting - original research and translation involved, and dealing with the politics and cultural contexts of multilingualism. i think i have an academic interest (the theory and issues in translation) in the class, but also a personal one, but only in a singapore context. i know nothing about american politics or culture or even literature. and the class has attracted no one from english, only students from american civilisation whose business it is to know american culture - and this class a political and semi-literary complement to their studies. otherwise it attracts senior scholars in american studies who bring clearly defined agenda to the class. and i am also particularly nervous about the visiting fellows, whom i am afraid will simply come and dominate the discussion but then it's all the same to them they won't be getting a grade or hang around after this year. i think it's such a pity here i have a chance to be in a small seminar with visiting fellows and not one but two distinguished professors! and in any other class i would be overjoyed and probably tailing after the fellows in delight and awe and trying to learn everything i can from them - except that in this class i feel maybe completely out of place - i am not in anyway an americanist and i'm so politically oblivious!! this may not be the right way to start my first semester in graduate school! and i'm even more worried because this being a class in which one can do nearly anything, and it is a particularly open class it is not themed-based and there is not necessarily a great deal of common ground or context everyone brings a different language and that could be so exciting only now i'm too anxious to appreciate it. and i can almost see it two months from now, senior scholars are using the seminar to voice views and workshop their new articles and i can see myself saying i'm frustrated, they're dominating the discussion, i'm not finding my direction, i haven't got a focus, i haven't got a project and i'm trying to catch up on a century of american literary history and four decades of politics and what i really want is to go read some shakespeare right now thank you very much. so. i don't know. i shall go to office hours.