I'm walking backwards for Christmas,
Across the Irish Sea,
I'm walking backwards for Christmas,
It's the only thing for me.
I've tried walking sideways,
And walking to the front,
But people just look at me,
And say it's a publicity stunt.
I'm walking backwards for Christmas,
To prove that I love you.

Jim Spriggs in The Great Tuscan Salami Scandal
[The Goon Show Series 6 Episode 23]