Julian and Minz go to 'Shakespeare in the Park'
J: The supermarket didn't have plastic glasses so I had to get plastic cups. I struggled because I do have standards but there isn't time to go upstairs to Daiso.
M: I'm not a Von. I'll drink it out of a bowl happily.
J: There was this other couple in the supermarket who had exactly the same problem and we lamented to each other at some length. But they said they would sooner die than drink out of plastic cups, so I told them where Daiso was.
M: Perhaps we'll run into them later at the picnic and they can look askance at our cups.
J: Yes, they'll give us dirty looks and sniff and move their mat further away from us!*
Me: Here are the tickets. Or do you trust me to hold them?
Julian: Are you like ChoonPing?
M: Why, does ChoonPing lose tickets regularly?
J: All the time. He has even lost tickets between buying them at the counter and getting to the cinema.
M: To be fair I think that is the only timeframe in which anyone *can* lose tickets?
J: I rephrase. He has lost tickets while making a *beeline* from ticket counter to entrance.*
J: We need to hurry because it fills up quickly. It might almost be full by now.
[we arrive.]
M: Look at that vast expanse of grassy unpeopledness! They're probably not even letting people in yet!
J: Oh you are right. Ah, there's the queue.
M: What have you done? You've just turned us into people who queue to get into things!!*
M [watching J spread mats]: Everytime I picnic with you I remember you don't bivouac properly.
*
J: That guy is quite hot.
M: Where, which guy? Nah, not my type.
J: I mean *I* am checking him out! Look at those arms!
M: Tsk. And you practically a married man. It's disgraceful!
J: And do you think those people are a couple?
M: Kindly remember you're here with your hag!*
J: Did the announcer say 80mins?! It's too short. Do they cut some scenes?
M: There there, I'm sure they wouldn't. [facetiously] Perhaps they just speak the lines very very very fast.
J: I mean this is not Reduced Shakespeare.
M: [soothing sounds]
[Interval, we turn to each other aghast:]
J: They DO speak the lines way too fast!
M: It's Trotting Shakespeare!*
J: Do you not have a soft spot in your heart for The Tempest? It was 18 years ago that we were reading it for the first time in school! 18 years is about half our lives! .... You know, I'd forgotten how preachy it was.
*
M: The staging was quite good but the acting leaves something to be desired. That was the worst Miranda I've ever seen -- she ruined all the good lines.
J: It sounded to me like the actress didn't really understand the lines she was saying. Incompetent casting lah.
M: Ah! Ferdinand is totally miscast!
J: He needs broader shoulders.
M: It isn't even a complex character. If he can't think of an interesting way to play him then just do it by the book as a boring good-boy prince charming type!
J: Exactly! He just had to be a Disney Prince. His only job is to stand there and look hot and he couldn't even do that. The guy I was eyeing just now was hotter than him.*
