The very famous excerpt from "The Mysterious Punch-up-the-Conker,"
The Goon Show Series 7 Episode 19, which can be heard here.
[Various timepieces ticking, chiming and cuckooing. A chicken clucking. Finally a hooter.]Bluebottle:
What time is it Eccles?Eccles:
Err, just a minute. I've got it written down on a piece of paper. A nice man wrote the time down for me this morning.Bluebottle:
Ooooh, then why do you carry it around with you Eccles?Eccles:
Welll, um, if anybody asks me the time, I can show it to dem.Bluebottle:
Wait a minute Eccles, my good man.Eccles:
What is it fellow?Bluebottle:
It's writted on this bit of paper, what it's eight o'clock, is writted.Eccles:
I know that my good fellow. That's right, um, when I asked the fella to write it down, it was eight o'clock.Bluebottle:
Well then. Supposing when somebody asks you the time, it isn't eight o'clock?Eccles:
Well den, I don't show it to 'em.Bluebottle:
Ohhh...Well then, how do you know when it's eight o'clock?Eccles:
I've got it written down on a piece of paper.Bluebottle:
Ohh, I wish I could afford a piece of paper with the time written on.
[i can't listen to this without falling in love all over again with spike milligan and peter sellers.]