i managed somehow to get through ariel's birthday party without crying horribly all over the place. i didn't think the first family lunch would be so soon, and i suspect everyone was vaguely concerned that i might bawl something horrible, they kept coming up to me and asking if i was okay, but i was quite controlled and pinched my nose a few times and went off to the kitchen to sniffle to myself now and then. (one terrible moment when i first sat down at the lunch table and realised that i faced the large photo of my uncle on the piano, but i got up to get a drink and got into a different seat when i got back)