i went to student health yesterday to see whoever was on call - and then i managed to make an two appointments with my own therapist for the rest of the week - they also told me there is a bereavement support group here that meets every wednesday - that's tomorrow - so i'll go to that for a bit and see if it's any help to me. i wrote to the dgs and the departmental secretary on sunday and when i went in to see the departmental secretary yesterday she said she'd already let my professors know there was a death in the family, so i don't think people expect me to be in class this week. i'm going to stay at home and be alone and be able to think and write it through - and cry it through when i need to. i can't simply "get a grip" and get on with the job (why not though - you always hear about people losing grandparents during o levels and a levels and they get through all right) but there's a certain acknowledgement that the fact that i am not going home means that i should at least do the things i am meant to do by not going home, so i must get some work done - my readings, and paper planning. min yin says getting help is the right thing - first things first - and then - working steadily - and making what compromises possible. the sooner i can go home, the better, and that means finishing up the semester efficiently.