as i said to poach earlier this evening, group sharing might not quite be my thing, though this support group meeting was pleasant in its way and also fairly helpful. i might go again next week, though i don't think i will go regularly. for a start, at the suggestion of some of the members, who thought that i might still be able to do something on this end instead of feeling excluded, this afternoon i went to saint paul's - the catholic church associated with harvard - where i was able to speak to the chaplain to harvard students - who was very understanding and suggested we could offer a mass for my uncle. we looked at the calendar book and found a time - next wednesday morning at 8. wednesday, because i remember my dad saying that's the day my uncle usually goes to church with my aunt, and because that's the day of the funeral in singapore - and eight, because the noon mass was already intended for someone else - but i found out the choir only sings at the morning mass - so it's turned out for the best (hymnal music is very comforting isn't it - even when you're heathen there's something about choral voices and the sound of the organ and perhaps the type of melody that is calming - i must ask julian about it - by the way - i found the first two hymns my dad told me about but i can't find the third, on the paten. do you think i misheard him and got the title wrong? does anyone know what it is or how it goes or what it could be that sounds like it?) - and my uncle's name was duly entered in the calendar book and that was settled. i would like someone to go with me because - well - obviously - i've never gone to one - though i don't know anyone i can ask and it's 8 in the morning at that. but i imagine it will work out all right.