von and minz drive to d.c.

"rolling hills!"
"mm, they do go up and down a bit, these roads."

"what's the next instruction?"
"take ramp to I-66. but it doesn't happen for 48minutes so we don't have to worry about it"
"good."
"erm, what is a ramp? how do i know when we've got to it so you can take it?"
"..."

"dead squirrel!"

"cannisters of gas, just what we want to be driving next to."
"couldn't you overtake it? or aren't you allowed to overtake big trucks?"
"what on earth are you muttering about woman?"
"i don't know, i don't know anything about driving rules! here, have a banana."

"$3.54... okay woman, now your job is look out for anything cheaper than that so that we can stop for gas."

"this tin of nuts don't really fit the holder"
"VON!"
"i just took my eyes off the road for a moment! just a bit of drifting! just drifting!"
"okay, give me the tin and i'll be the nut minder. tell me when you want a nut and i'll give you one. don't take your eyes off the road again!"
"give me a nut."

"oh look! wooden frames!"

"hey, are you looking out for cheap gas?"
"oh, i forgot i was supposed to do that."
"well start paying attention from now on, woman!"

"a ford explorer, ha, a truly american car...and... yes! it is driven by a fat woman."
"shh."

"do you think we've already missed [road]? can we get it to reroute us? ... oh von, i think this phone is running out of battery!"

"dead squirrel!"
"again?"

"3.56! damn it! it's getting more expensive! ...oy, are you looking out for cheap gas?"
"oh! i forgot about that again."
"what?! stay on top of it, woman!

"highway 29 has too many fucking stoplights! ... what are you writing away on the back of that sheet of paper?"
"i wrote, von thinks highway 29 has too many stoplights."
"IT DOES!"

"you know what would be good? semi-polynesian tiki jazz... why don't you make yourself useful, and find me some semi-polynesian tiki jazz."

"you are looking out for cheap gas aren't you?"
"oh erm, not really. i mean. well. erm."
"jeez woman! i gave you minimal responsibility! this is unacceptable!"

"oh!"
"NOW What have you done?"
"nothing, nothing!...well, i've scribbled all over the back of the last page of instructions, which is the one you'll need after you've dropped me off..."
"GREAT."
"i'll just, erm, copy them onto the other sheets shall i, so that you won't take my notes when you go?"

p.s. i don't know how von can notice so many things when he drives. it is true i was most unhelpful with the gas, but i can't help switching the outside world off when i get into a car. cars are normally where i get my writing done, in my head. for this reason i am very productive when i firstarrive at somewhere. i also write well on trains (though i don't read at all well on trains) but that is another matter. still, moving vehicles are a different universe.