next summer i'm going straight home and staying the whole three months. i didn't get anything done in singapore this time round. i meant to have new dresses made, i meant to have got more read, and i meant to have my mother's three wedding dresses altered. she had three of them, one of which fits me perfectly as it is - a long, slim, red satin dress, sleeveless, high waisted, with an attached cape. that was her evening dinner dress. the other was a lilac long dress with a floral pattern never worn (she had three made to get married in but only wore two. she said changing dresses was too much of a nuisance and she was the kind of bride who never sat still but bounced around the restaurant cheerily waving and saying hi to people , and my dad had to keep chasing after her to make her come back to her table.) the last one was her day dress - long translucent swathes of pale grey and coral on white chiffon, with a large cluster of inky flowers at the neck. i was going to have the sleeves taken out and made into a sash or perhaps to line an evening bag. i don't feel i've been home at all - there was the rushed week in january and the brief month in june - that'll make two years before i can get a proper break at home - no wonder i feel so miserable.