von writes:

when life used to be gemeinschaftlich and highly structured as organic bodies are wont to be, choice and compulsion were aligned too. gemeinschaftlich society develops a space for the individual that functions like a mould: sociological theory argues that life then -- for most people -- was much less a construction of self and much more a construction of the context into which individuals were born. the trappings of modernity conceal fundamental truths about the persistence of old structures. for this discussion in particular, social pressure's fundamental power to shape the individual remains. john stilgoe used to lecture on the warring life-roles of women in modernity: he argues that they are compelled by feminism and social history to live two full lives both inside and outside the home -- when volume expands, density decreases; these lives no longer go all the way. stilgoe's example obliquely illustrates the fundamental problem with the illusion of choice: he interprets women as pawns of social forces that dictate not just the choices available but the choices made, regardless of the veneer of choice that modern feminism has placed on these deeply-rooted ineluctable forces. similarly, these days more of us grow up immersed in the belief that the shape your life eventually takes is more in your control than out of it. i say "illusion" and "oblique" because i believe that the set of people for whom life-choice is real remains small in modernity. it may have grown since medieval times, but proportionally, it is still tiny. we recognise these lucky people throughout narrative and history: they are poluphemos, possessing many sides. odysseus was one such. what happens to the one-legged man who grows up believing he is many-sided? existential angst, perhaps. it may not be so good either to be truly many-sided -- it is the inverse, not the opposite, of being one-legged -- for this implies that every choice carries almost similar opportunity cost. self-doubt plagues the many-sided, for how can they be sure that the choice they made was the right one without the benefit of contrast? for the one-legged man who knows himself, choices in life are much more clearly-defined: do what you can, the rest isn't worth doing.