von rings me up and we talk about this and that for seventy minutes before i finally chase him off.

me: yes do go, because i have to get through another two hundred pages of latin by tomorrow noon.

von: then why didn't you say so when i called?

me: i never tell people to go away when they call me in the wee hours, in case they're depressed and sitting on top of a building waiting to jump.

von: do you think i would ever do that? you know, i could be adding strings to my bow instead of talking to you! do you know helen cresswell?

me: *miffed because obviously i don't need von to tell me about the bagthorpes, and it was he who called me in the first place* well you go do that.

good luck to him and his strings, and may his sorry little life be plagued with DAISY PARKERS, she says viciously!