von and minz discuss v's theory of happiness.

me: ...so then they (the conventional) prosper 
m: go away with their 5cs and each other
von: but then i have nothing but scorn for that kind of thing
m: and we just die alone etc
m: yes. i know
m: i also realise that in my kg years
m: i was seduced into wanting that kind of life
m: security and kids and nice apartment
v: to thine own self be true
m: happy yuppy young married singaporeans type thing
m: becos even now i think we're all slightly tempted to
m: marry young, have kids, hdb.
m: send your kids to RI RGS
m: psc scholar
m: hdb cosmopolitan
m: happy ever after etc
m: and tt's not what we truly want
m: but it's so comfortable
v: there's something to be said for that
m: and so not tiring
m: becos it's v tiring to live all the time exchanging passion for passion
v: or, in some cases, no passion for no passion
m: and i can totally buy into that other sort of life
m: or did
m: so that the anger now is not only for past hurts
m: but because of knowing exactly what i am excluded from now
v: it is not too late to sell out
m: but then also anger at 
m: having become, in part, the kind of person who would want such a thing
m: bah i am not going to sell out
v: there's no point in being principled about this. 
v: you gotta do this just because you have scorn for everything else
m: i dun have scorn for everything else 
m: humanities types seldom do
v: i think i am not a humanities type
m: but i do need more self-esteem
m: i can see for instance you couldn't be hurt by kg's parents 
m: in my place i mean 
m: but for me the nasty things they say really really bother me
v: i don't get why since you are probably smarter than all the rest of the gang
m: becos then i feel misunderstood and maligned!
m: i'm not smarter than all the rest of the gang
m: i'm just the one who took this road
m: all of you can come back to grad sch and get into top places
m: it's just not the path tt some of us wanted. 
m: and others have bonds
v: i think that is untrue
m: in fact what i feel all the time is that i'm really very ordinary
m: i just happened to be the one who was free to choose
v: i really don't think that this is a correct interpretation of the whole issue
v: the issue here is that there are two cultures
v: and one is comfortable and stultifying
v: the other is not
v: i think there is a strong correlation between choice and raw intelligence
v: because stupid people cannot not sell out whereas smart people can
m: so what does tt mean
m: that we never sell out becos we're stupid?
v: it means that smart people can choose between comfort and edge
m: whereas if you're stupid you're just comfortable?
v: i, obviously, chose comfort
m: well then it's a lot easier to be comfortable innit
v: whereas other people by choice were forced into comfortable lives
v: but if you're forced into something it inverts. and isn't comfortable
m: comfort is comfort
m: you get used to it 
m: and enjoy it as long as you've got it 
m: and you dun think what else there is. can't miss what you never had. 
m: and the ppl who chose comfort have comfort
m: so by this model of yours, only ppl who choose not-comfort are stupid
m: because either by choice or by default they could have been comfortable
m: the default comfort ppl think we're damn fools 
m: because they can't see the point of edge
m: and that we're failures because we're not comfortable like they are
v: its not about that
v: there is a teleological density to this argument
m: and the ppl who chose comfort are
m: good that someone's out there carrying the flag, but i'm v comfy thanks
m: this explains why i'm unhappy
m: you know su-lin was saying
m: tt to many ppl, i'm like a mascot
mr: becos i'm sort of living the dream for them
m: but they dun have to raise one finger to do anything
m: and no one understands, really understands, if i have a hard time
m: becos they're not called on to live it, 
m: just, see the coolness or whatever it is of it
m: is tt like what you're saying?
v: no that's got nothing to do with what i'm saying
v: although it is not inaccurate
v: what i am saying is this:
v: the edgy path can only be taken by the smart
v: the comfortable path can be taken by anyone
v: and when i say smart, of course i'm referring to a different kind of smart.
v: let's call it Smart
v: if you're Smart, you can sell out and be comfortable
v: or you can stay on edge and be, you know, tense and edgy, but be morally satisfied.
v: if you're Smart, and you're forced to sell out (say you have a bond)
v: you will never be comfortable
v: nor will you have moral satisfaction
v: but ultimately, choosing the edgy path has to be the only viable option for it to work. 
v: especially if you are really Smart
m: what if you're not Smart or smart
v: then you're fucked lah
m: what is the default for them
m: comfortable?
v: sell chicken rice
v: no. uncomfortable
m: oh
m: but why
v: obviously smart + Smart isn't the universal set
v: they are, in fact, a tiny subset
m: couldn't you just be not smart but have no awareness and be happy
v: most people are not smart.
v: i think you might be happy
v: and you might even be comfortable
m: what is the distinction between smart and Smart
v: given much lower standards, 
v: or at least different standards of happiness and comfort
v: smart = smart
v: Smart = smart and excruciatingly self-aware
m: are you Smart or smart
m: is our set smart or Smart
v: i sold out and am happy living comfortably
v: so i guess i must be smart
v: the set is undoubtedly Smart
v: especially people like you and julian
v: where the degree of self-awareness is so high it hurts