last weekend, to my distress, the fridge downstairs, once full of poland spring water, was filled instead with poland spring sparkling lime, s. pellegrino, keepers' spring and evian. i dismiss the poland spring lime (i'd made a mistake the previous week because the bottle looked the same as the uncarbonated kind, but that wouldn't get me twice) and come upstairs with a bottle each of the other three - the evian and keeper spring were unremarkable (i didn' t think they would be special; i have only been buying poland springs because they came in one-litre bottles and the others in 250ml.) and the pellegrino was meant to be an experiment in boiling out bubbles (in a pinch i might do that, you see, in case they never bring back my poland spring) but vaughn, consulted on this point, said that even if i did rid it of bubbles enough carbon would remain to affect the taste of the water. i then find that i wouldn't have been able to open the bottle in any case - there being no bottle opener in our kitchen. jared, when i was at uva, had a trick of using the edge of my desk to pop open beer bottles, but i shouldn't get it right, and the prospect of dousing my room in an violent explosion of bubbly water is so real that i should find myself wishing i'd never thought any such damned fool thing. the bottle is large and unwieldy and sits beside my table where i keep tripping over it and i will give it to anyone who will come and fetch it out of my blunderous life.