from Goon Show Series 5 Episode 1: The Whistling Spy Enigma


GREENSLADE: Yes, master. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Goons and myself after successful season of unemployment, return to the air for a long series of one. They commence with a mystery play, packed from end to end with mediocrity, under the title of -

THROAT: The Whistling Spy Enigma.

SELLERS: The crimes you are about to hear have all been specially committed for this programme. Here to tell you a story with the aid of smoked-glass ear-trumpet and reconditioned head is Captain Hairy Seagoon.

SEAGOON: I remember when it all started. At the time I was asleep in my electrified elephant hammock, when through the pigeon hole flew a carrier pigeon. There was something strapped to its leg - it was a postman.

PIGEON: (Milligan) A letter for youuuuuuu.

SEAGOON: Thank you. Hurriedly I tore open the letter. Inside was an envelope, with a message that said -

PIGEON: (high pitched voice) Report at once to MI5.

SEAGOON: The letter was written in a disguised voice. Hurriedly strapping on a fresh pigeon I flew out of the window.