i wish someone steady and clever and comforting whom i trust and who know me, like bob reeder, could be around to give counsel, although i acknowledge that people like bob are busy and have their own work now and can't baby me anymore and i should certainly not be a nuisance. it is true not only with him, i suppose. the people i've always turned my mind to are the ones that i know will now say - just as arthur in the idylls - comfort thyself. what comfort is in me? personal, says carrot, is not the same as important.