Second Encyclical from His Grand High Priestness

Vaughn:
Grand High Priest's Room
The Citadel Upon the Stump
27th September, 1997

Eternal perdition upon Dorinda, ersatz Princess of the heathen lands!

I receive reliable intelligence from Cult informers living in the heathen lands that Dorinda, having accidentally bruised her companion's tail, now seeks alternative partners with whom to "perform deeds of a diverting nature"! One needs scarcely ask how her mate's tail was bruised. I believe all have heard of her legendary unyielding carapace? let no more be said.

More! other informers loyal to the Cult of Von (entrance fee a paltry $6 billion, nonrefundable) have informed me that Dorinda (yes, that sick, perverse rodent again!) has been seen consorting with a well-known ne'er-do-well son of an egyptian tycoon! the citadel's fortune-tellers tell me that Dorinda and her male friend will be destroyed in a tragic car crash caused by RIOTING CULTISTS! I exhort all cultists to do their utmost to riot! death to the demon princess!

fear not her threats to wield upon you a butterknife. the cult has reliable information that the butterknife of fame is nothing more than a plastic spatula given free with every purchase of Sunflower Brand margarine!

Dorinda is dead already! it falls to us only to determine when!

Cultists of the world Unite! The Supreme Being stands resolutely behind you, and the armies of the world will quake within their boots, yea and verily will they wet their armour!

The Eternally Glorious One, The Undying King,
Lord of the Vaults, The Nice Person
Von I, Grand High Priest
The Cult of Von
For The Supreme Being (Von)



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