Shu3 huan4

Minzhi:

From the Pest Control Division, Ministry of Home Affairs

It has come to the attention of the Pest control division that there has been an increased number of public complaints regarding mice. The division reminds the public that mice are pests and should be exterminated. Approved brands of mousetraps can be purchased from all pest control equipment stores. white mice may be run-away experiments so pls check with your neighbourhood laboratories. green mice are most unusual and may not be mice at all. (in which case cheese and mousetraps may not serve the purpose.) we suspect they are non-terrestrial and the public should report sightings to the national security department for further investigation

Pompous megalomaniacs are public irritants and thus qualify as pests. They should be exterminated as well. The advised method of disposal is by incineration (preferably at the rubbish dumping ground at 16 West Coast Rd.) The Ministry of Foreign Affairs does not wish international furore should Singapore Chauvinists in need of nuclear weapons lay hands on the corpse and threaten to drop it over Malaysia .

Green frogs belong to the Museum for Frogs, Toads and Other Amphibians, located at 16 Woollerton Park. The Owner of the Museum would be pleased to receive them. All frogs will be pH tested, deacidified and encapsulated by an expert team.

A final reminder: No building of citadels or other architectural forms upon tree stumps without first obtaining a license from the Parks and Recreation Board.

« previous | | next »