Vaughn:

The Grand High Throne Room
The Citadel on the Stump

c.f. your imperial declaration:

The Cult of Von does not recognise the false queen Dorinda. Plus, her name is stupid and induces in the Grand High Priest hysterical outbursts. Plus, she's but a mouse.

When she goes to mouse hell, as she certainly will, there will be pain in abundance! Eternal suffering to you who insult my citadel! ETERNAL SUFFERING!!

Recant now, all worshippers of the false queen, and turn to the true way: THE WAY OF VON!

The Grand High Priest
The Cult of Von

Elminster:

All this talk and squabbling on who's the true leader and who's not, and who defamed who and what is recognised and what is not is utterly ludicrous. Lord Elminster will solve it in HIS OWN WAY. I'm getting tired of this petty bickering and false delusions to godhood, queenhood and ministryhood. All who do not bow before me, the democratically elected President, who rules by consensus and co-operation, THE ONLY TRUE LEADER OF THE WORLD, will be exterminated, disintegrated, annihilated by my nuclear squad within the next 24 hours. So all ye petty rabble, submit before my true might or be destroyed!

Your Lovingly Democratically elected President of the world
With the mandate of the people
Lord Elminster.
Have a nice day, while you still can!

Edict Against Heresy

Jianyi:

Her Imperial Majesty hereby denounces all heresy and the perpetrators of it, in the name of the One True Faith. All heresy will be crushed and destroyed. This is especially applicable to the upstart "cult of von."

Heretics will be burnt into cinder and fed to the rose bushes. Any attempts at resistance will be met with the full force of the Imperial Inquisition, to be headed the appropriate Imperial Executioner. Her Majesty also takes the opportunity to excommunicate the Encyclopaedia Salesman, and may his eternal soul burn in the fires of Hell thereafter. (After he is tortured by the Inquisition, of course)

All believers in the One True Faith are required to recite the following prayer:

Confiteor Poofus,                       	I confess to Poofus
Omnipotenti.                            	The almighty,
Beatae Dorindae,                        	To the Blessed Dorinda
Semper profundis.                       	Ever wise,
Beato Fitzerwillis Archangelo,  	The Blessed archangel Fitzwilliam,
Sanctis chloros animalia,               	To the holy green animals,
Omnibus sanctis,                        	And all the Host,
Aeterno.                                     	Forever,
Mea culpa,                              	It is my fault,
Mea maxima culpa,                       	My most greivous fault,
Convictae deos imprumbus,       	to believe in false gods
Meritas brachus annundis.       	who live in tree stumps.
Ea pryi Utumno,                 		May they burn in Hell
Aeternae.                                       	Forever.
Libera me dominae,                      	Free me
O Poofus omnipotentae.          	O Poofus Almighty.

Say these words and your sins will be absolved!
(Plus a small indulgence fee of $80 billion)

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