I am (by your magnanimous leave) utterly outraged! What is this nonsense (forgive my presumption at such an expletive) about Monsieur Choon Ping? I am the Ordained, smeared upon this mortal slab to exude and thereafter disperse to the four winds the aroma of peace, to interpose between the two warring slices of religion and state and perhaps to bind them finally in flavourful conjugation.
I therefore exhort you most diligently to dissociate me from any mortal you may have mistaken me for.
Furthermore I am doubly disturbed by the mere notion of competition.
Elminister my unwashed organ of locomotion. Harumph. My only motivation for the acquisition of the post of Grand Inquisitor is most definitely singular, and stems from the burning quest for peace. With the additional investment of power I would most assuredly succeed (If you'd forgive that presumption). But I presume to presume that you would like to see my qualifications. very well. See the attached.
Your ever humble dollop
- am a graduate of House of Advance Torment, in which I have attended a
number of select course, which I shall enumerate:
Choon Ping:
I am Ordained
attachment of accomplishments
Sustained Monologue in Machine Langauge (advanced certificate)
Practical Training in Latest Technology
Culinary with Brussel Sprouts (by the famous F. La Tulence no less)
5 Sample Witty Conversations With a Representative Science Student (a research course that is thus far fruitless)
How to Speak Like A Science Student (this was NOT fun)
- Integrated Iron Spinster
Furthermore, I have taken upon myself in my free hours the reading of several famous books which have furthered incalculably my edification
- Super-Speed Navel Needle
- Chinese Oral Tape with Recorder that rewinds when the subject twitches
- Guilletine with Random Aim function
- Life Support to Keep the resultant bits alive
- salt shaker
- Teach GP the Canadian Way! (this works best when the next class is A03A)
From which I am able to recite ad verbatim
- Elaine's Lectures on Economics
- S. O. Wden's Giant Compendium of Humour
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